The Day My Life Got Better. Forever.

On this date 34 years ago my life changed.

The college group at church was having a special meeting on a Friday night. A new pastor had been hired and he was being introduced that evening. I wanted to go but didn’t have anyone to go with. I was new to the group and only knew a handful of people and could not truly call any of them friends so I called a friend who went to another church and asked him to go with me. He agreed and we walked into the meeting together a few hours later.

I do not remember anything the new pastor said that evening. It was not his words that changed my life. It was something that happened later, during the reception, that altered the course of my life.

I scanned the room looking for faces I recognized. Off to the right of the room I saw two guys who I had met a few weeks earlier at weekend retreat. We met that weekend in the mountains and when it concluded we drove back down together. I had only met them once but I knew them better than anyone else in the room so I migrated in their direction.

Standing with them was a petite and pretty girl with light brown hair. We were introduced. Her name was Lisa and she had a wonderful smile. I do not remember much of the conversation, other than me joking that I drank so much Coke that my blood was carbonated.  I talk a lot when I am nervous. I also tend to crack a lot of jokes and tell stories. Miraculously, Lisa laughed at my jokes.

We saw each other again two days later at church. (She saw me approaching and placed herself strategically near the door. She was impossible to miss.) We talked, and I ended up walking her to her car. As we walked across the parking lot I found the courage to ask her out. She said yes. (Another miracle!)

Our first date was a church square dance. We talked more than we danced. Talking to Lisa was easy. The next day I called my best friend and told him that I had met a girl I could totally fall for. “How could you know that after only one date?” was his incredulous reply.

Three weeks later I asked Lisa to marry me. She said yes and less than 5 months later she were married in the room in which we met. My life was transformed. Before Lisa I was self-doubting and alone. She gave me her heart and that gave me courage.

34 years have passed. I still melt at her smile. I thank God every day for miracle of her love.

-Bart

In

Jealousy- The Highest American Value

There was once a time when people rejoiced in the success and good fortune of others. Those days have disappeared. Admiration and respect have given way to jealousy and spite.

Success through effort has been an American value since the founding of our nation. Hard work, perseverance and sacrifice were the ingredients in the recipe for success. While other countries may have class based societies designed to keep the lower classes down and the upper classes in power, the United States has been a place where there is no limit to what a poor person can achieve, regardless of their background.

Success stories like that of T.S. are the embodiment of the old American dream. He spoke almost no English when he arrived in New York City at the age of 7. His mother did not speak English at all. He lived in a crowded apartment with his parents, grandparents and a cousin. His was not a privileged childhood, he did not see his parents as much as better off children saw theirs. His parents both worked 12 hour days in a laundromat to make ends meet.

Although neither of T’s parents had attended college they understood the value of an education. They were aware that in New York City excellent students, regardless of income or social background, could all apply for admission to one of the city’s elite high schools. Academic standards were stringent and the admission test was incredibly difficult but students who attended one of the eight elite schools were often able to gain admittance to one of the nation’s top universities. The prestigious city high schools are so elite that their alumni include more Nobel laureates than many foreign nations do.

With the support of his parents T began preparing for the elite high school entrance exam when he entered the 6th grade. The test is administered to students entering 8th grade so T spent two years attending tutoring sessions and working through study guides, all in addition to his normal school work. It paid off. T earned admission to the top high school in New York. He has since graduated and is a student at NYU.

There was a time when stories such as T’s would be celebrated, but those days seem to have passed in New York. It is not celebrated because T has the wrong name and his skin is the wrong color. T.S. are the initials of Ting Shi, an immigrant from China. Because he is Asian and because students of Asian descent make up over 60% of enrollment at New York’s elite high schools, he represents a problem to be solved instead of an example to be followed. There are too many students like Ting. There is a movement in New York to change the school admission standards to make it more difficult for Asian students to gain entrance, all in the name of diversity.

Instead of being treated as just another Asian academic success tale Ting’s story should motivate other poor families in New York. His success should encourage other families to sacrifice for their children in the way his parents did for him. Ting demonstrated that hard work, perseverance and sacrifice do lead to success, even for those who are less fortunate or financially disadvantaged. Unfortunately for the families of New York hard work , perseverance and sacrifice do not appear to be values shared any longer by the society into which his parents immigrated 12 years ago. Elected officials in New York are trying to find a way to allow students to gain admission without similar effort. This is apparently the new definition of fairness.

It sounds more like racism and jealousy to me.

-          Bart

Ting’s story was brought to light by Dennis Saffran in his article, “The Plot Against Merit”. I encourage you to read it all.