Pooping on Camera.

“You need to check your phone, alerts have been going off from your office alarm!”

I had just returned home from walking the dogs and this was not the greeting I expected from my wife, but in response to her words I walked over and picked up my iphone. I knew what she was talking about because I had recently installed the Ring surveillance camera behind my office and it was connected to a app on my phone. (There is a secluded area near the air conditioning unit that homeless people consider a place to camp, and after one too many Monday morning clean ups I had invested in the camera hoping to end the problem.) This was the first time the alert had appeared on a weekend.

I opened the phone app and clicked on the button to view the live feed of the area. No one was there. I clicked on the history tab and selected a video of the movement that had triggered the alert. I saw a recorded image of disheveled man in an orange cap walking back and forth as if he was looking for something. He then walked out of the shot. It seemed nothing had happened. I clicked on the tab of the previously recorded video from a few minutes earlier. It showed the same man conducting similar surveillance. I wondered if he was a homeless person scouting for a campsite but as he seemed to have left I took no action.

A few hours later my wife and I were out shopping when I noticed I had missed another alert from the camera. My wife peeked over my shoulder as I opened the app and called up the video. She wishes she hadn’t. Some things are best left unseen. We watched as the same man in the same cap again walked into the frame. He looked to the left and right, as if checking to make sure no one could see him. He then took his foot and dragged it through the gravel, clearing a bare spot of dirt and making a shallow pit. Then he turned around. And reached for his belt. And lowered his pants. And did the deed. 6 feet from the air conditioning unit at my office, right there in the dirt. It was disgusting.

15 minutes later the alert went off again. This time I caught an intruder live, rummaging in the shrubbery. It was a different man, in a blue tank top. I tapped the phone icon in the Ring app so I could talk to the man in real time. “This is private property,” I said, “You need to leave!”

He stared up blankly in the direction of the speaker, as if he did not understand. I repeated myself, slowly and clearly, yet got the same blank stare in return. I wasn’t sure whether he didn’t understand or just didn’t care. I decided to call the police and ask them to come and shoo the man away. The dispatcher told me they would send an officer to investigate.

In just a few minutes the alert went off again. This time the live feed showed the police officer walking in the area behind the office. I clicked on the speaker button on the app and introduced myself. I told him I did not see the man any longer. He told me there were men trimming the trees at the office and that it must have been one of them. I told him about the previous man’s actions and encouraged him to watch his step as he left.

My wife and I finished shopping 40 minutes later and, still bothered by the previous video, decided to drive by the office. We wondered if we might see the mysterious defecator walking in the neighborhood or sitting in the office parking lot. We turned on the side street where the office is located and pulled up to the curb across from the office. Parked near the office was the tree trimmer’s pick up, a large red truck piled high with branches and trimmings. On the top of the pile, tying things down was a disheveled man in an orange cap. We gasped. The pooper was one of the gardening crew!

I was livid, more than I was when I had seen the act on video. It is one thing to have a wandering vagrant lacking in luck or cognitive abilities make a mess on one’s property. It is an entirely different thing when the mess maker is someone you are paying to clean up that property! I felt violated. I got out of my car and approached the truck, holding up my phone as evidence as I looked up and addressed the orange ballcap wearing pooper-man.

“I have a surveillance camera on this property,” I said, “and I saw you take a dump behind my office.” I don’t know exactly what response I expected but I know I did not get it. The man showed no sign of embarrassment. He simply shrugged his shoulders, said “I’ll clean it up,” and returned to his branch stacking. It was as if he was saying, “No big deal, sh— happens.”

I let him know it was a big deal to me. “You will clean it up now,” I said, “Or I will call the police.” I was not certain of an exact law the man had broken but I was pretty sure that he had to have broken at least one and I knew of no other approach that might motivate him to act. He seemed annoyed at my demands but began to move anyway. He climbed down from the truck, grabbed a shovel and went behind the office, later emerging with a bucket in his hand. I had no desire to look in the bucket, instead I asked him if he had cleaned it up. He nodded and said, “Sorry,” again shrugging his shoulders.

I don’t think he was sorry. Based on his actions and responses I do not believe he thinks he did anything wrong. His “regret” was over being caught, not in what he had done. The only behavior he is likely to change after today is his degree of surveillance. The next time he feels the need to defecate on the job he will probably look for the nearest video camera, not the nearest bathroom. I say this because I believe who a person who does not know that pooping in a person’s yard is inappropriate, a person who had no shame over crapping in public, probably does not spend a lot of time thinking about right and wrong. He does what he feels like doing in the moment.

I can think of a lot of famous people who are a lot like the pooper man, people who decided long ago that right and wrong don’t matter. Men and women to whom what matters is whether or not they can get away with their disgusting behavior, not avoiding behavior that is disgusting.

My message to them is the same as my message to the pooper man. Someone is watching, even when no one is around. Nothing we do is hidden from the eyes of God and someday we will all give account for the messes we have made!

- Bart

PS: The man is not alone in his bathroom habits. There is a "Mad Pooper" on the loose in Colorado . 

Thanks to all who read the blog and share it with others. (although this one is a little less share appropriate!) Those who wish to receive future posts can subscribe to the blog or follow me on Twitter @bartbarrettmd. 

Blessed by a Dying Man

He was a bear of a man, in two varieties. He was big, strong and burly, an imposing presence like a grizzly. He is also warm and kind, always ready with an encouraging word, like a teddy bear. He is one of those remarkable patients who always takes the time to ask me how I am doing and truly is interested in the answer. On more than one occasion he has asked me if he could pray for me before he left the office. It made me feel guilty at times. I was the one who was supposed to be making others feel better.

He is only one kind of bear now. The big bear aspect of his nature has faded. Cancer has removed almost 100 pounds from his frame and the tumor compressing the nerves to his left arm has resulted in incapacitating pain. He has been on hospice for over a year now, his disease incurable and his death imminent. It is hard for him to get out as much as he used to which makes the still present teddy bear side of his nature more difficult to share.

As encouraging others has been such a major part of who he is the isolation has been difficult for him. He has been wondering why he is still around, why God has yet to take him home, why he must live in so much pain when there is so little he can do for others.

He shared these thoughts with me when I stopped by his home on Friday for a hospice visit. There was not much for me to do from a medical perspective. For the last several months the only changes in his care have been increases in the dose of his pain medicine. He has been in agony, daily choosing to endure the pain rather than be comfortable yet sedated and less present for others. As bad as the physical pain is as we talked I could tell that the emotional pain was taking a greater toll. He felt he had little to give others and that was breaking his heart.

In almost the same breath as his sharing a sense of worthlessness he told me that I had been on his mind for the last several weeks and that he had been praying for me daily. He asked me how my family was, if everyone was okay. If there was anything or anyone who needed prayer it was clear he wanted to know. He told me that he loved me, not just as a doctor, but as his friend. We spoke for a few minutes more and I tried my best to encourage him.

As I turned to go he stopped me and told me to wait. He reached for his wallet and I could tell he wanted to give me a gift. “Please, no,” I said, “You do not need to give me anything! This is my job!” He shook his head insistently and told me that he wanted to give me something. He took money out of his wallet.

“Take the girls in your office to lunch on me,” he said. I hesitated, he would not take “no” for an answer. He wanted to do something, to make a difference in my life. I realized how important it was to him. He wanted to bless me, to bless my office, in any way he could. He needed to bless us, because that is who he is. He is a man who lives to bless others. I let him shove the money into my hand.

I left his home, once again moved at his kindness. As unsure as he is about why he is still around his purpose is clear to me. He is a testimony to others about what it means to be a Christian. He embodies Jesus’ teaching about putting others ahead of ourselves, of loving selflessly. He is a blessing to others, and a blessing to me. Like the Savior in His moment of suffering, my patient is choosing to consider the needs of others.

 Bart

Thanks for reading. Pray for my patient, Mr. R, that God will comfort him and encourage him. Consider sharing this post and asking others to pray for him as well.

Learning the Power of "No"

I wanted to be an actor. I had no reason to think I could succeed in the arts, but I loved the theater. I had no formal training, I couldn’t sing at all, and had never taken a single dance lesson. My stage experience was limited to a couple of very low quality high school productions but that didn’t stop me from enrolling in college as a theater arts major. I had a dream. I wanted to act.

The dream died my first day of college. I do not remember what prompted the moment of reflection but after my first, very boring day at Cal State Fullerton I sat and reflected on the reality of my goals. Given my complete lack of musical talent there was no hope for Broadway. Drama or comedy were a possibility, but I was not leading man material. I was not particularly good looking. I had a very slight build and was not particularly tall (somethings never change!). “Romantic lead” was not going to ever appear on my resume. If I was going to be an actor I would have to do it the hard way. I would have to have another job and scrounge for any role I could find, likely as a bit player or character actor.

While many similarly endowed have gone that route and eventually succeeded I realized there would be another barrier to success, my beliefs and values. As a committed Christian, there were limits to the roles I could accept. There were things I would not say, even in character, and things I could not do because of my faith. There would be times I would be forced to say, “No.”

As I pondered all of these facts in my head I realized I had no choice. The chances of me making it as an actor, making it to the level of being able to one day provide for a family without compromising my values, were nil. My dream had to die and it did. As I had no idea what I wanted to do with the rest of my life I dropped out of school to reconsider my life path.

This story from my past came to mind this week as I read more of the tales of abuse and harassment in Hollywood. The lurid accounts of shameful and disrespectful behavior validated the conclusion I reached almost 40 years ago. So many have given up so much in pursuit of acting careers, preyed upon by lecherous men like Harvey Weinstein. It seems it is almost impossible to make it as an actor or actress without compromising one’s values.

As disgusting and offensive as the actions of Harvey Weinstein were I cannot ignore the reality of why they continued for so long. Men like Weinstein do what they do because there are men and women who are desperate enough to allow them to. Morals are tested, challenged and frequently cast aside. One compromise leads to another, and the compromises of one person lead others to feel pressured to similarly give in.

Strings of compromise lead to entitled expectations from powerful people who make or break careers. Actors and models who are willing to take off their clothes and imitate lewd behavior on camera for money or the opportunity at fame should not be surprised when others think they may be willing to do the same in private. When you have established a price, people will try to buy you.

The solution to this problem isn’t only to punish the perverts (although the punishment should be severe). The solution requires values and boundaries. People need to be willing to accept the potential adverse consequences of saying, “No.” They may lose coveted roles or even their careers to the whim and spite of a power-hungry sleaze, but they will keep their dignity.

They may lose a Hollywood career, but they will not lose their chance for happiness. They will have the same opportunities for happiness as the rest of the world, the happiness that comes from being a good spouse, parent, friend or co-worker. They can have joy that surpasses fame, the joy of being a good person who is true to their values. They can live a fulfilling life that is not subject to the whims of another, fulfillment dependent on neither fame nor income level.

I do not know any celebrities but my distant observations are that few of them appear to be truly happy. Most of the people I know have lives of better quality. I know I do. I have been happily married to my best friend for over 35 years. I have close relationships with my adult children. I have no skeletons in my closet and no terrible secrets waiting to be discovered. I also have my values and my dignity.

-          Bart

"Want to see a Fat Man Naked?"

I have said a lot of stupid and offensive things in my life but none of them rise to the level of stupidity displayed by Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein. Weinstein, twice married with 5 children and the producer of blockbuster movies (5 of which have won Oscars for best picture) can now lay claim to the dumbest pick up line ever spoken. He is reported to have asked Ashley Judd, “Do you want to watch me take a shower?”

A quick Google image search of Mr. Weinstein answers the question for all women (at least all of those not stricken with a pudgy fetish). No one would want to watch Harvey Weinstein take a shower. Ever.

Given the obviously disgusting nature of the question and the blatant sexual harassment it represents one is left to wonder why he would even ask it. What sort of man thinks it is appropriate or acceptable to ask women who work for him if they want to see him naked? Why would he think he could get away with such behavior? The answer seems to be that there were women who took him up on his offer, and that he did get away this behavior for over twenty years.

He was able to get away with it because he lives his life in a world without moral values, a world where money, power and fame are all that matters. In Mr. Weinstein’s world morality is about attending women’s marches, distributing movies about the victimization of women on college campuses (2015’s “The Hunting Ground”) and donating to the right political candidates. For him, morality seems to have very little to do with how he treats the actresses who work for him. He was too important to concern himself with the feelings of others.

While Weinstein’s pig-ness is unassailable, the fact he got away with it is also concerning. While the actresses who were victimized and harassed are not to blame for his behavior it is nonetheless sad that so many remained silent for so long. The danger of their careers being harmed should they speak out drove many to silence. Ms. Judd referenced this fear herself.

While these women are not to blame for the harassment the reality that their silence allowed it to continue cannot be ignored. In situations of abuse if we calculate the cost of making a stand, if there is a price we will not pay for our principles, bad will be inevitably allowed to continue. Values are either invaluable or worthless. Compromise is not an option.

This truth applies to every area of our lives. Every time we compromise our values, every time we say something is “Not that bad” and do things “a little wrong but not terrible”, every time we make excuses for our bad actions, every time we allow wrong to continue for financial or personal gain we follow the example of Harvey Weinstein. We become people without a moral compass.

I do not want to be like Harvey Weinstein. I cannot change the culture of Hollywood or influence what happens in the halls of power but I am not powerless. In my own circle of influence I can choose to treat people well, to make difficult and costly choices and to do the right thing, every time. I cannot change the world, but I can change my world.

-          Bart