Breaking Families with an iPhone

Illuminated screens are harming children. One study estimated that children between the ages of 2-5 spend 32 hours a week in front of a TV, an average of over 4 hours a day. Kids between 6-11 spend 28 hours a week watching TV, as well as additional hours on hand held devices and video consoles.

It is felt that the screen epidemic is the causative factor in a multitude of health issues, from ADHD to childhood obesity. Additional concerns have been raised about the content of what children watch. Television programs can reinforce negative stereotypes and contradict the values parents want to teach their children. Even when parents install internet filters, handheld devices with internet access can lead to children being exposed to adult content.

In response to these and other concerns the American Academy of Pediatrics has come out strongly in favor of limiting the amount of time children spend looking at screens. Recommendations are that the total time looking at screens of all types should be less than two hours daily. This is a good start but may not go far enough.

In spite of all of the data and research there is one aspect of children and screens that is frequently overlooked. Their parents are spending too much time looking at screens when they should be looking at their children. I saw this first hand this week while walking in the park near my home.

I was walking near the playground when I came across a father with a young boy. A bicycle on the ground near them revealed how they had arrived at the park for their Sunday afternoon outing. The child, who looked to be about 4 years old, was playing at the edge of the sand near where the playground equipment was located, drawing in the sand in the stick. The father was 6 feet away, lying on his stomach in the grass, thoroughly engrossed in his iPhone, paying no attention to what his child was doing. He was more interested in what was on the screen then he was in what his son was doing.

The father reminded me of how much we have lost to our screen obsessions. I wonder how many conversations have been skipped, how many stories gone untold, how many jokes unshared, because either the parent or the child was looking at a screen. It seems that the American Academy of Pediatrics is on the right track with their recommendations but it is too narrow. The limit should be extended to parents as well!

- Bart

House Calls of Death

He was serious alcoholic. His disease was so severe, his addiction so powerful, that 21 stints in rehab had failed. His marriage had fallen apart, his children had been taken in by his parents, he was unemployed, lonely and miserable. He was 41 years old and in his mind his battle against alcohol had been permanently lost. He gave up any hope of recovery and went to his primary care doctor looking for a special kind of help. On July 14 of this year his doctor gave him the “help” he requested. His doctor killed him.

The patient, Mark Langedijk, lived in Holland, the country with the world’s most liberal euthanasia laws. Physician administered death is common there, in 2015 more than 5500 Dutch citizens had their lives ended at the hands of a doctor. That calculates to about one of every 2000 Dutch adults. In Holland, having your life ended by a physician is not a rare event. 

The law, as originally introduced 16 years ago, was purported to be about allowing patients with terminal diseases to choose the timing and means of their own passing, a way for patients doomed with incurable and progressive illnesses to control their destiny and avoid needless suffering.  That is not the current reality. The scope of conditions for which physicians are allowed to give lethal injections has widened considerably. A young woman in her 20’s struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder from child sexual abuse was recently determined to have mental suffering severe enough to justify ending her life. A physician injected her with heart stopping medications.

An increasing number of states in the US have passed laws for physician assisted suicide, which makes the Dutch experience all the more sobering. All of these state laws were advanced with the same arguments and promises given in support of the laws in Holland.  Opponents of these laws who feared widespread and inappropriate use of euthanasia were accused of lacking compassion for the suffering of others. Proponents of these laws consistently argued against “slippery-slope” arguments, saying that controls and limits were included in the laws to make sure they would not be abused.

The reality is that slippery slope arguments are always valid. When society moves in a direction it typically continues in the direction. The debate is not about whether we will move towards greater use of euthanasia, that will happen. The only question is the steepness of the slope and the speed of our descent. When a society crosses the line and says that some lives can be terminated they have embraced a system in which society has the right to determine which lives are worth living and which are not. The stories from Holland remind us that once that line has been crossed,  that over time more and more lives will be determined unlivable and more lives will be ended by physicians.

If there is no course correction, Americans will one day wake up in a world where death doctors are performing house calls, a thought which should be sobering to us all.

Bart

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reference- The Daily Mail November 30, 2016

Fighting to be Thankful

I woke up Thanksgiving morning feeling more stressed than thankful. While not unaware of the blessings that fill my life, these blessings have recently taken a back seat to stress. Turnover in the office, conflict in some relationships, a recurrence of chronic pain issues and even a sick dog have weighed heavily on my mind. My morning began with a tinge of sadness and I found myself reflecting on more negatives than positives.

A tweet helped change my mind.

The tweet was from Don Willett, Texas Supreme Court Justice. It featured the picture in this post with the comment, “This Thanksgiving, remember with gratitude America’s peerless military, far from home & close to danger.” I did what as Justice Willet suggested, and took time to remember the blessings secured and preserved by the millions of men and women who have served.

I remembered that I live in a free nation, with a free economy in which I am blessed not only to have a job, but to own my own business. I go to work when I choose, leave when I choose, pay my employees what I choose to pay them and am free to do what I believe is in my patients’ best interests.

I am free to worship. Each Sunday morning, I wake up with the ability to not only go to church, but to choose which church to go to. The pastors are free to preach whatever they want without fear of recrimination or arrest. I am free to give to the church of my choice and the money I give is not taxed by the government.

I am free to vote. I may not always like the choices I find in the ballot booth but I am free to vote, or not vote, for whomever I want. The candidates are chosen by the people, not by the government.

I am free to speak out. I can criticize the government, I can march against perceived oppression, and can stand on a street corner with a sign supporting or denouncing any cause or position I choose.

I have all of these rights and hundreds more because someone else fought for them. My ability to sit with my family to eat Thanksgiving dinner today exists because of others who have sacrificed time with their families in order to preserve my freedoms, which is a lot to be thankful for.

Bart

A Silly Game, Enduring Values

It was a stupid, simplistic table game. As we were too young to know we should have been bored to tears by its lack of sophistication we played it over and over. The game was called “'Tis so” and it was based on the Old Testament book of Proverbs. Its purpose was to teach proverbs to young kids. It worked.

The game consisted of small 1.5 inch by 0.5 inch pieces of cardboard that each had a portion of a proverb written on one side. Proverbs were divided into three sections with the words for a particular proverb all written with the same color font. The goal was to collect the three parts of a proverb and then lay them out in front of you in a fashion similar to the card game “Go Fish.” The player who had the most proverbs in front of them won the game. Pretty simple concept but it had a profound impact on me.

It was through this game that I learned a proverb that has shaped my life-

A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver and gold. Proverbs 22:1

I was only 10 years old but I understood what the verse meant. There is nothing in life more important than your character. It was clear to me that if I was ever forced to choose between doing the right thing and making money that the right thing should always win out. Good men never count the cost before doing the right thing. From that time on I set my sights on the lofty goal of being a good man. Although I ended up pursuing a well paying job wealth was irrelevant compared to integrity. What mattered the most was who I was inside, not the stuff I possessed.

I have worked hard to instill this value in my children. When my son was in 4th grade we went to his parent/teacher conference. When we sat down with the teacher she briefly mentioned some behavioral issues our son had displayed, that he had been mean to a special needs child. She quickly told us that the issue had been dealt with and then tried to move on to a discussion of his stellar academic performance.

To her surprise and chagrin we had no interest in discussing his classroom performance. “I know he is smart,” I said, “I am more concerned about his character.” I told her I would rather my son be a trash collector with character than a dishonest President of the United States. I backed up my beliefs when we went home.

We learned that he and another student had been picking on another child while they all played on the school's new and very popular playground equipment. We told him that he was banned from that equipment for the rest of the school year, a total of 8 months. “Every time you see the other kids having fun on that playground I want you to remember why you can’t" I said,  “We are Barretts, we don’t pick on the weak, we defend them.” We said nothing about his academic success. Both my son and his teacher learned that day that in our eyes character was more important than worldly success.

It seems that the values found in Proverbs 22:1 are increasingly on the decline in our nation. We just completed an election cycle led by individuals who seem to believe that character is irrelevant. All that mattered was winning by any means possible. This seems to be the  new American way, which means we have lost out way as a nation. People cheat in business, on exams and in their marriages. There was once a time when a handshake sealed an agreement, we now live in an era where promises are made to be broken. 

I cannot change America but I may still be able to make a difference. It is my hope and prayer that I will be a honorable and trustworthy man and as a result encourage those around me to do the same. I may not end up rich, but perhaps I can leave this world with something of greater value. A good name.

Bart

Complaining About Everything and Changing Nothing. Thoughts on Protesting Trump.

I don’t get yelled at by patients very often but when I do there is one question I want to ask the offended and angry person. “What are you hoping to accomplish by yelling at me?”

I have been yelled at more than once for not prescribing antibiotics for a viral infection. Each time I wondered if the patient thought my medical opinion was so weakly held that it would change once a certain decibel level had been reached, if antibiotics were indicated not based on the severity of the infection but on the anger of the patient.

I have had patients yell and scream over the cost of an office visit. Some have threatened to seek care elsewhere if I did not waive my fees, apparently oblivious to the fact that no doctor wants patients who don’t pay their bills in their practice. Their behavior guaranteed an outcome opposite of the one they were seeking. Instead of begging them to stay I was glad to see them go.

These encounters came to mind this week as I watched the anti-Trump demonstrations. While Donald Trump has given Americans myriad reasons to be upset and angry I find myself wondering, “What are they trying to accomplish?”

There is no chance of a do-over. Elections do not work that way. No amount of yelling is going to change Trump’s mind. No clever sign or intensely chanted slogan is going to change the outcome. Instead of persuading others the most likely result of these protests is to galvanize those who against them. Those who voted for Trump rightly feel that their vote is being devalued and attacked. The natural result will be greater support for Trump among his voters and those who almost voted for him, making his policies more likely to succeed. This is not what the protesters want but it is what they will get.

If these protesters truly want to change people’s minds they are going to need to do it the old fashioned way. They will have to leave the bubble in which they live and engage in dialogue with those who disagree with them. They will have to listen, understand, and provide reasonable, rational and respectful explanations for their point of view. This will take time, effort, and patience. If they are as passionate as they claim they will make the effort. If they don’t, their words aren’t worth the poster board they are printed on.

If they want to impact elections they will have to do this the old fashioned way as well. They will need to register and vote, and support candidates with whom they agree. They will need to volunteer their time and donate their money. If they don't they will continue to feel as if they are outside of the process, because they will be outside of the process.

Bart

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